Peace Corps Makes You Feel Alive

A fellow PCV, Russel, came to visit me the other day. We were talking about the emotions that we were experiencing at that particular moment. I told him that I was glad to start school again, I was a little bored, and I'm a little lonely. I want to date again, but it's slim pickings here in Indonesia where hardly anyone speaks English and where my Bahasa Indonesia need serious improvement. I also explained to him how the New Year turned me into a New Person. I just feel more confident with myself and my life here. I feel like I finally have a full grip on finding happiness in Peace Corps. He told me that he was excited to start school,  ready to move houses, and he's making a lot of new friends. So many emotions packed into one conversation!

And then Russel said something that just shook me (in a good way). He said, "My Peace Corps recruiter said that you never feel more alive than you do in the Peace Corps."

What? What the heck does that mean? My life in the States was not worth living? No, of course that's not what Russel's recruiter meant. She meant that the emotional ups and downs of Peace Corps are incredibly strong. The highs are really high. It feels like you're in love and skipping through rice fields and holding hands with children while seriously tripping on some sort of illegal drug. And then the lows are really low, like your heart has been broken into a million pieces, everyone is annoying you, you're on your period, and on top of that a pigeon crapped on your head. That's honestly what the Peace Corps ups and downs feel like, and they're great!

I thought back to my first few months in Peace Corps. I cried when my friend Lindsey and I separated. I laughed so hard when my host brother tripped and fell while running towards me. I felt warmth throughout my body when my ibu told me I looked beautiful in my new dress. I feel a calm sensation every week when I join my counterpart for prayer at the mosque.

I even made a fellow Peace Corps Volunteer cry yesterday (in a good way, I promise). I told her how much she has grown, how well she is doing, and how strong she is. I gave her concrete examples of her progress here in the Peace Corps and I literally made her cry. It was such a beautiful moment to share! I even made my oldest sister cry a few months ago by telling her what a great older sister she is. I'm packed with emotions and I'm spreading it everywhere. So watch out, world.

I can't explain the emotional trip I've been on the last 10 months, but I can assure you that it's an incredible feeling. Even the lows let me know that I'm alive and well. The lows leave me feeling hopeful because I know an extremely happy moment is yet to come.

My Secondary Project

Every Peace Corps Volunteer is required to complete a secondary project. Secondary projects allow volunteers to let their imaginations and dreams run wild. In Indonesia, one volunteer created an international marathon on Mount Bromo as a secondary project. All the proceeds from the marathon go to local schools. Other projects around the Peace Corps globe include building libraries, clinics, homeless shelters, baseball/soccer fields...etc.

Naturally my type A personality and my creative side have been freaking out about this secondary project since Day 1. I've been stressing about how I can leave my mark in my village. Should I work on an environmental project? Should I teach the village how to recycle? Should I work on nutrition? Should I create a homeless shelter? How will it be sustainable? Do they even need this? Do they care?

The entire time I've been at site, I've been looking around for opportunities to make my community better. However, I was looking inward. I kept asking myself questions about my secondary project. I was just so lost. I even tried creating an Environment Club at my school. I was hoping that I could encourage my students to become passionate about cleaning up the local beaches and recycling. I printed a ton of resources and announced to the school that any interested students should meet me for Environment Club after school. I eagerly waited for students to pile into the classroom, but soon I found myself standing in the classroom alone. Students peeked their heads in to say hello and then sped home on their motorcycles. I was so disappointed. I had no idea how to energize the students on this subject matter. I officially gave up on creating the Environment Club. I went home and told myself, "Kruti, your secondary project will happen. Just wait."

About 5 weeks after the failure of the Environment Club, Peace Corps Indonesia emailed each volunteer inviting volunteers to apply for to a 3 days workshop. The workshop would educate volunteers and their Indonesian counterpart on how to implement a secondary projects. The workshop promised to teach us how to write grants/proposals, how to make our project sustainable, and how to plan our budget. I read this email while sitting in the teachers' lounge at my school. I was so excited for this workshop until it dawned on me that I don't even have a secondary project to work on.

I immediately turned around in my chair and asked my counterpart, Ibu Mujiati (Bunda), if there was anything that she thought the village or school needed. She said, "Yes. I think we need HIV/AIDs education." I told her about the workshop and she became incredibly excited. She went ON AND ON about creating an educational camp for students and spreading the knowledge of HIV/AIDs prevention techniques throughout Panggul. She got so excited that she took me straight to the local clinic to talk to doctors and nurses about HIV/AIDs prevention.

I followed her around the clinic and wondered, "What the.....? Where did HIV/AIDs come from!?" I had no idea that it was even an issue in my village. I know a lot of Peace Corps Volunteers in Africa do a lot of HIV/AIDs prevention work, but I don't think any volunteer in Indonesia has done any work on it. I seriously thought it wasn't even a big deal in Indonesia. However, I did some research and I found out that United National Programme on HIV/AIDs (UNAIDS) declared HIV/AIDs to be an epidemic in Indonesia. In fact, Indonesia has the fastest growing rate of HIV/AIDs cases in all of Southeast Asia. Bunda was so excited to hear that I was interested in helping her educate locals on the dangers of this virus.

I was dumbfounded for about 3 days. This ENTIRE time I was searching through my village looking for opportunities to make a difference. However, I didn't do the most simple type of research: asking around. I didn't bother to ask any local what they thought the village needed. I was in my own head working out what I thought they needed. No wonder the Environment Club failed. It was only important to me, the random American outsider.

Bunda and I presenting our project proposal to Peace Corps staff/volunteers/counterparts

Bunda and I applied for the Peace Corps workshop and got in. We just finished the 3 days training session and received wonderful reviews on our project idea. This post is mostly about how the idea of my secondary project fell into my lap, so I will write about the project itself at a later date.

The message I think every Peace Corps Volunteer should know is this: If you want to make a difference, ask. 

Salamat New Years

New Years is typically a time for reflection. Obviously I participated in the age old tradition of looking back at the year that is being left behind. I wrote in my journal, I reread my old blog posts, and oh...I listened to all of Taylor Swift's 2014 hit songs. So what was my takeaway from 2014? It can be summed up in two words:

LIFESTYLE CHANGE

At the beginning of 2014, I lived in my parents home in Connecticut. I listened to the radio while driving to work, I updated my Facebook account on my iphone, I did laundry every 2 weeks because I had enough clothes to last me that long....my life was completely different from what it is now. 

Everyday I have to make decisions that you normally wouldn't think I'd have to make. Here's a list of comparisons I've made from my daily life in America versus my daily life in Indonesia. 

Laundry: 

In America: 

1) Put dirty clothes in washer. 

2) Go do something fun. 

2) Put clothes in dyer. 

4) Go do something fun. 

5)Hang clothes in closet. 

6) Repeat 2 weeks later

Estimated time: 20 minutes worth of work

In Indonesia: 

1) Soak clothes in a bucket of water to get the dirt off.

2) Fill another bucket with water, put soap in. 

3) Let clothes soak for 20 minutes in soapy water. 

4) Hand wash every single items of clothing. 

5) Get angry when one of my items of clothing leaks color (yes, this happens EVERY time. No, I haven't learned my lesson yet). 

6) Put clothes in bucket with fresh water. 

7) Rinse each item of clothing until soap is out

8) Take each item of clothing and ring it dry (if you don't do this, the bucket of clothes will be too heavy to carry outside)

9) Put big clothing items (skirts, shirts, pants) on the line in front of the house

10) Put little clothing items (underwear, socks) on the line on top the roof 

11) Wait a day. 

12) Iron clothes because my host mom yells at me to do so

13) Repeat every 3 days

Estimated time: 2.5-3 hours worth of work 

Note: I have to set aside an entire morning to do laundry. I cannot do it in the evening because the clothes will ONLY dry underneath the sun.  The climate is too moist for the clothes to dry during any other time of the day. 

Using the Internet:

In America: 

1) Pull phone out of pocket

In Indonesia: 

1) Walk 5 minutes to school

2) Log onto the wifi if available

3) If wifi is not working at school, bike 3 miles to the closest internet cafe. 

Note: If the rain is heavy, the entire village will be out of internet. 

Exercise:

In America: 

1) Put on shorts and a t shirt 

2) Go to gym

3) Wait for available treadmill 

In Indonesia: 

1) Estimate the time of rainfall 

2) Time the work out. I cannot run between 10am-2pm. The weather is too hot. 

3) If it is not raining, then I will wear pants (yes, pants in 90 degree weather) and t shirt

Bath Time:

In America: Shower power

In Indonesia: Brace myself for cold bucket bath

Taking a Day Trip:

In America: Drive to my destination. Have fun along the way

In Indonesia: 

1) Pack nausea medication

2) Hop in van full of locals

3) Answer the locals' questions. Introduce myself. Explain to them why I live in a village in Indonesia
4) Take nausea medicine while driving on the windy roads on the mountain range
5) Get to the main bus station that is 2 hours away
6) Take another bus to the next city
7) Spend a night in a hotel
8) Reverse the trip while making sure to get back to the main bus station before 4pm. The vans from the bus station to my village stop at 4pm.


As you can see, my daily life in Indonesia has changed drastically. Every time I want to leave my village, I ask myself, "Is it even worth it?" It is sometimes such a hassle to leave the house, even for internet access. I broke my iphone, yet I do not want to buy another one. When I want to listen to music, I actually sit down and enjoy each song as it plays from my laptop. I am not as distracted anymore. When I take long bus rides, I don't listen to music or play games. I look out the window, make conversation with the people sitting next to me, and enjoy the scenery.

Oddly enough, I have enjoyed the adjustment. I find that living without certain amenities has made me appreciate time more. I realize how precious time is because it takes me an incredibly long time to do one task. Without a doubt, this lifestyle change has helped me grow as a person.

I've also changed on the inside. I realized I've become more a listener than a talker. I handle situations more calmly. I got rid of Facebook (well, I have an Indonesian account so my students can contact me, but no one from America). I got rid of my iphone. I enjoy today rather than plan ahead for the future. My hair is growing back. In fact, I have cute bangs again. I'm stopping my eye twitch (those who know me know of my OCD eye twitch. I'm finally doing something about it. YAY!) 2014 has been a year full of change. I'm excited for all the new adventures coming up in 2015.

Happy New Year, everyone! 

Singapore

Two weeks ago, I left the island of Java for the first time in 7 months. It was like tasting and feeling freedom at the same time. I desperately needed a change of scenery. I chose Singapore to be my first getaway because my family friend, Monica, currently lives there. When I booked my ticket last July, I was excited to explore Singapore. But as my departure date came closer, I became more excited to see Monica than Singapore. I was desperate to reconnect with someone outside of the Peace Corps bubble.

Monica had to work during the weekdays, but we still managed to catch up each night. She took me out twice to enjoy Singapore’s nightlife. She even convinced me to smoke a $40 Cuban cigar on a rooftop bar. What luxury!

During the weekdays, I explored Singapore by myself. This was the first time I had ever explored a foreign country alone. It was exactly as fun as I thought it’d be! I didn’t make an agenda or force myself to go to touristy places. Each morning I looked at a map, found an area that interested me, and then went for it! I liked the idea of exploring a city and not being tied down to a strict agenda.  

On the first day, I literally sat inside Monica’s apartment enjoying the air conditioning and free wifi. I barely got up out of her bed. When I finally did muster up enough motivation to leave, I ended up across the street from her apartment building and into a comfy seat at the movie theater. It was a lazy, rainy day in Singapore and I felt as if I had lived there for years.

On the second day, I acted like a true tourist and headed to the Asian Civilization Museum. When I got to the museum, tangled wires, loudspeakers, and a microphone scattered the atrium floor. I asked the staff if here was a performance going on later. They said, “Yes, there is a jazz band playing here later today.” Obviously I stuck around to enjoy the live music!

A college professor from Singapore asked his students to play a few jazz numbers at the museum. They played songs by Duke Ellington and Frank Sinatra. They even played Moon River, one of my personal favorites! I’m so glad I went to the museum on that particular day. I think I enjoyed the band more than the museum itself!

Overall, Singapore was fun, but I did not fit into the local culture. Everyone was dressed in expensive outfits complemented with Louis Vuitton bags, Kate Spade shoes, and Gucci watches. I did not fit in with my long, hippy flower shirt and my baggie t-shirt that reads “Help the Homeless.”

I once read an article stating that a country’s best quality is also the country’s worst quality. Singaopre’s best and worst quality is….

Drum roll please….

It’s perfect.

It’s perfect in the sense that everything is clean and orderly. There are many rules and regulations in Singapore. These are the ones that intrigued me the most.

 1) Each animal is quarantined and observed for a month before being allowed into the country.  This ensures that the animals is disease-free and safe to enter the country.

2) The license to own a car is sometimes valued higher than the car itself (this expensive license helps regulate the number of cars let into the country).

3) If you are found homeless in Singapore, the government will place you in housing until you land on your feet.

Overall, the country is also incredibly safe. According to Monica, you can leave your wallet on the table of a busy café, come back an hour later, and discover your wallet untouched. She also told me that many Singapore residents chose to leave their doors unlocked. Now that’s trust!

However, the country has no flare, no zest. Everything in Singapore looks and feels  brand new. It’s as if they forced the personality out of Singapore and left only the orderly, well-dressed people. Don’t get me wrong. Singapore was great, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea.

H2No

In college I took a course on Latin America. During one class period, I studied the Water War in Bolivia. In 1999-2000, Bolivian citizens protested the privatized water systems. The leading water resource Aguas del Tunari soon monopolized the water industry. The price of installing this system was incredibly high; many locals could afford the price of water, but not the price of installation. As a result, many Bolivians began to collect rainwater in attempt to eschew the private water companies. The government soon discovered these tricks and made collecting rainwater illegal. Water became scarce and sacred.

“That must have really sucked,” I thought as I walked out of class.  Later, I filled my water bottle, went home, took a shower, boiled some pasta, ate dinner, and put my dirty dishes into the dishwasher. The thought of water never crossed my mind again even though I was using water all day. I never stopped to appreciate the precious liquid gold until today.

Right now, my village is going through a drought. It’s nothing as severe as the Water War in Bolivia, but it is a serious issue. Let me explain my water situation:

There are two types of water in my household. There’s potable water that comes from a water cooler and there’s tap water. The drinking water is more expensive than the tap water. In fact, the tap water is paid for through taxes. The tap water is the stuff they warn you about in travel guides. You don’t want to drink that…ever. I still have potable water that gets delivered to my house every week. That’s not the issue. The issue is the tap water.

My bathroom has a large square basin on the left hand side. The basin is usually filled with water. Most of the time, the basin is overflowing and spills onto the bathroom floor. This water is used to mandi (bucket bath) and to flush the toilet. The toilet is a porcelain squatty potty. You pour water in the squatter (hey, that rhymes) until your excrement has been flushed down into the abyss.

Recently the water in the basin has been either 25-50% full (or 50-75% empty for all you pessimists out there). Indonesians usually take 2 bucket baths a day. Last week, my ibu asked me to skip my second bucket bath because there was hardly any water in the basin.

“We have to save it for the toilet,” she told me.

Just yesterday, I went into the bathroom in the morning to take a bucket bath. Unfortunately, the basin was nearly empty. I chose to only wash my bottom half in order to save the water for other purposes. Later that night the basin was full again, so I was able to fully bathe.

My ibu also tells me to be incredibly careful when I’m hand washing my clothes (I don’t have a washing machine in my house). To relieve some of her stress, I started washing my clothes only once a week as opposed to twice a week like I used to. I also wear the same clothes twice in order to avoid washing more clothes. It’s sort of gross in this climate, but I don’t want to be the cause of more stress.

In front of my house, there is a large dust lot. The lot can fit about 2 cars. My ibu “waters” this dust lot. When I asked her why, she said, “The dust flies up into your face. When it rains, I will stop doing this.”

I thought this was pretty counterintuitive seeing as we are in the middle of a drought. But here’s the logic behind it: if the dust constantly flies into my face, then I cough and need to drink water. Potable water is expensive, and therefore I am spending more money on water. By pouring tap water onto the dust lot, I am reducing the amount that I have to spend on potable water.

As I said before, the water in the bathroom basin sometimes overflows. To prevent the loss of water, my ibu has been saving the excess water in buckets. This water is used to water the dust lot.

I asked my host parents what we will do if the rain does not come until December. They said we will have to cut our bucket baths to only once a day and we will stop watering the dust lot.

Although the drought isn’t severe yet, I have developed a new appreciation for my water supply. I knew the lack of water is a concern around the globe, but I didn’t understand  how the lack of one resource could alter your lifestyle.

The Death of My Facebook Account

People keep asking me why I decided to delete my Facebook. Honestly, I thought my online disappearance would go unnoticed. I first started unfriending everyone while simultaneously saving photos onto a flash drive. But soon people (mostly other Peace Corps Volunteers) noticed and I got a ton of questions.

So what’s the deal? Let me tell you:

Facebook makes me miserable. I feel lonely when my friends are in Washington D.C. hanging out at a bar together. I feel left out when my entire family attends a family friend’s wedding without me. I feel a sense of longing when my boyfriend is photographed at a wedding (a wedding in which he had a +1 invite!). Lastly, I feel inadequate when other volunteers post their success stories.

Rather than sitting here in a bubble of self-loathing, I decided to do the healthy thing. I deactivated my Facebook. HAZAA! Deactivating your Facebook account means that you temporarily go away in the virtual world. You can disappear and reappear whenever you want. In order to get your virtual life back, you simply enter your password. Poof! You are back online with all of your photos, all of your friends, all of your statuses, and all of those “likes” we all seem to like.

Deactivating my Facebook made me feel liberated. Well, for the one day I actually did deactivate it, that is. The very next day, I found myself typing in my password, eager to get back online. I wanted to see what the world was up to while I was away for that brief period. I was like an addict. I just needed a fix. I needed to post something, like someone’s photo, stalk someone who I secretly envy. I simply could not cut my social media addition.

But the funny thing is, I didn’t post all that much. I mostly checked up on others. I compared my Peace Corps experience to my friend’s.  I saw how one volunteer got a dentist to send a box of supplies for her school. I saw care packages being sent. I saw people taking snap shots of them skyping their family. And the worst was when I saw other volunteers who got to visit home. Their access to cheese nearly threw me off a ship of sanity and into a green sea of envy.

I even looked at photos of people from my past. I loathed my former college classmates. They were pictured drinking in bars that had air conditioning. They were with friends, smiling, and posting comments that contained inside joke. I SOOOO wanted to be on the inside.

All of this Facebook envy wasn’t because I was unhappy with my life in Indonesia. In fact, I’m really happy here. But I can’t lie; it does get hard. It gets lonely and frustrating. I find myself needing a lot more alone-time than I normally would. I shut my bedroom door and then play loud music just so I can dance by myself. The culture can be overwhelming. My sleep gets disrupted from the morning call to prayer at 4:30am. It’s difficult to live far away from the familiar. I realized that Facebook was my out. It was like watching a reality TV show, except I knew all of the characters personally.

One post could literally ruin my day. I would mull over the amenities I didn’t have or become upset over friends I no longer kept in touch with. So, I deleted my Facebook. Deactivating it was clearly not working since I did not have the willpower to stay off. Plus, why have something if you never plan on using it? It took me over 2 months to fully delete every friend and every photo, but I did it. I deleted everything in order to make it difficult for me to come back. If I had no friends on Facebook, then what would be the point of being online, right?

I sometimes miss Facebook. I liked the chat function, but overall I’m happier. I no longer think of things that are thousands of miles away. I no longer envy people with whom I barely talk to. I no longer envy other Peace Corps Volunteers. I feel liberated. And I now fully understand the meaning of this very important phrase:

Out of sight, out of mind. 

Just Call Me Miss Kruti

I want to be completely honest: I didn’t think I would enjoy teaching. I came into Indonesia thinking, “Fine. I’ll teach, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” During training I was overwhelmed with all of the teaching strategies the Peace Corps was throwing at me. In 2 and a half months, I not only had to learn how to teach English to non-English speakers, but I also had cross-cultural training in order to work with an Indonesian counterparts. I thought teaching would be a bore, a chore, would make me snore, and just another requirement from Peace Corps.

However, I look forward to teaching.

Every.

Single.

Day.

Me teaching a lesson outside of school at another teacher's house. She has a built in classroom on the side of her house. 

I walk into each class, throw both hands in the air, and scream, “HELLLLOOOO!!!” And the crowd of 30 goes wild. They scream right back, sit eagerly in their seats, and wait for me to ask them questions in English. I ask them how they are, how their families are, whether they have already prayed…etc. Simple questions that everyone can answer in unison.

After I teach a topic, I ask them to put their thumbs up if they understand and their thumbs down if they don’t understand. I yell, “ON THE COUNT OF THREE. ONE. TWO. THREE! SHOW YOUR THUMBS” The students love this because students openly admit confusion. It is hard for some students to ask questions because they are shy or feel stupid. The thumbs up/down system allows students to be slightly anonymous. In fact, I’ve seen some students put their thumbs up, look around, and then put their thumbs down realizing that the rest of the class is just as confused as them. The students are still warming up to me, but they now understand that it’s okay to be confused. In fact, I tell them that I am just as confused when I speak their native language.

I also taught the kids a song PCV Russel learned at Boy Scouts. It goes like this:

I like bananas, coconuts, and grapes (3x)

That’s why they call me

TARZAN OF THE APES.

When the students sing the last line, they shout at the top of their lungs and beat their chest with their fists. It’s a great way to release energy at the beginning or end of each class. Sometimes, I go right into the lesson and I will hear a student humming along to the tune. Soon, other students will join him/her. I see this as a sign that students are losing focus so I turn around and yell, “STAND UP.” I make them sing the entire song 3 times until they have all of their energy out. Afterwards, they all sit down and quietly continue taking notes. I don’t mind when my lesson is disrupted because it keeps students on task after I encourage them to let out their energy. I mean…they’re kids. They should have fun, especially in school!

Not only are my students great, but also my counterpart is wonderful. My counterpart is the person that I co-teach with. We make a great team. During training, volunteers were warned that we might be frustrated with our counterparts because of cultural differences. I was terrified that my counterpart, Ibu Muji (Bunda for short), would be unmotivated and expect me to teach alone. I was also afraid she would not show up to class or that she would always be late.

When I met her, one of the first things she said to me was, “I love how disciplined Americans are. I try to always be on time.” I officially developed a lady crush on this woman, and it had only been 10 minutes. Bunda has been an incredible help with my transition into my village and my school. She lesson plans with me, which many Indonesian teachers don’t do.  Many teachers enter class and simply teach straight from the book.  However, Bunda is open to teaching through fun games and activities. We incorporate at least one game into each topic.  We are fully prepared for each class and know exactly what to expect.

The other great thing about our relationship is that we can read each other very well. When she is tired or having an off day, I do most of the talking and vice versa. She is also quick to translate for me when my Bahasa Indonesia is not grammatically correct or when my English confuses the students. She also encourages me to take water into class even though that is not the cultural norm. It is considered rude to eat or drink while others are not being served. However, she doesn’t care if I chug water while I sweat profusely near the white board. She was also okay when I encouraged the students to bring water into class. She said, “For this class, it’s more than okay!”

Of course, my counterpart and I have been frustrated with each other. That’s natural when teaching with another person. However, Bunda and I are really open to learning from each other. That’s what makes this relationship great and class so much fun.