The white Americans in my program fascinate many Indonesians.
From what my friends have told me, the white volunteers get invited to a lot of
social gatherings, the staff at their schools wants them to show up to every
event, and people will flock volunteers just to get a photo with them. In some
cases, neighboring schools will invite the volunteers to teach. The white
volunteers are celebrities here, but that isn’t always a good thing. My friend
Cait recently wrote a post about how she is frequently compared to a Barbie
Doll, a toy that is admired and lugged around for show. My site mate, Kayleigh,
describes her “role in [her] community is that of a show pony.” You can read
about Cait's experience here:
When I walk with white volunteers I notice locals shouting
“BULE! BULE! BULE!” (FOREIGNER! FOREINGER! FOREIGNER!) to get our attention. I
asked Terceira, a PCV in West Java, if this bothers her after being here for a
year.
“It’s just white noise (pun completely intended) at this point,” she
said. But I hear it loud and clear. I blend into the crowd, so I rarely get
shouted at. When it does happen, I’m shocked every time.
I thought about how stressful that would be if I had to deal
with that on a daily basis. Although I like attention, I must be in control of
the attention. I like performing on stage, making speeches, and being in the
middle of a dance circle. However, I do not
like being put on the spot or being asked to make a speech with no preparation.
Apparently this happens to the white volunteers all the time.
I was having a conversation about school life with another
PCV, Craig, when he asked me, “Doesn’t your school sometimes stick a microphone
in your hand when you’re standing in front of a huge crowd of kids and ask you
to motivate the students?”
“No…?” I said looking incredibly confused. “Why on
earth would my principal make me do that?” I thought.
Blending into the Indonesian crowd has also motivated me to
study the language more. When I was out and about with other volunteers, locals
used to pick me out of the group to talk to me. They assumed my Bahasa
Indonesia is better than the white volunteers (which is not true at all, by the
way). I used to get really annoyed at this because I knew I was being singled
out for my skin color. However, I just decided to work with it rather than
against it. I started expanding my vocabulary just in case locals didn’t want
to talk to my friends. This ended up benefiting me a lot. I became confident in my language skills and began telling people, "My friends can speak Bahasa, too."
But blending in doesn’t always have its perks. I used to get
worried when other volunteers visited my site and my school. I was afraid that
if locals saw a white volunteer, the staff at my school would want that volunteer instead
of me. This isn’t an abnormal fear, either. There have been situations where
schools specifically ask Peace Corps for a white volunteer. Luckily I didn’t face
discrimination when I moved to Panggul. I asked my regional manager to make it clear to my school, my counterpart, and my host family that I am Indian American. I didn’t want there to be any confusion or disappointment.
My brown skin also once caused me to get kicked out
of a photo. I was hanging out with two white volunteers at Bromo Mountain. A
woman tried to take a photo of us and asked me to step out of it. She only
wanted a photo of the white volunteers. The two other PCVs stood by me and told her she couldn't take a photo unless I was in it, too. This was exactly a year ago. Since then I have shut down any request to have my photo taken. I don’t want my
feelings to get hurt like that again. The only people I take photos with are my
students and that’s only because they’re adorable and I love them. At this point in my service, I’ve noticed many
volunteers have become annoyed with locals taking photos of them. I’m glad I’m
not alone on that.
Despite the negatives, being an Indian American has really helped me integrate into my community. It used to bug me that I'm not a celebrity like my friends are, but now I've come to love it. Some of my Peace Corps friends call me up
confused because they don’t know if a local genuinely likes them or just likes
having a white person as their friend. “Do they like me or do they just like me
because I’m white?” is a phrase I frequently hear. I don’t have to worry about
that. Indonesians either take the time to get to know me or they ignore me. I'm perfectly fine with that! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment